Stupid weather.

Ok so I was mad when I couldn't wear my jacket because it was 90 degrees, but now I can't wear my jacket because its like 5 degrees. Maybe its not actually 5 degrees, but it might as well be because unless I go out between 12 and 2 its too cold to wear my new jacket. Which sucks because even if I do go out during those hours I usually means I have to work late, and it will be freezing when I get off work. I really don't like to be cold and that is the real problem. See I'm not enough a slave of fashion to be cold all the damn time. What happened to having Seasons. Yes I know I'm a big baby and its totally not winter yet, but this is why I hate fall. It better be nice this freaking spring, or I'll be even more pissed. This just sucks because the jacket is soooooooooo damn cute. ugh.

Guess who

Guess who asked are HR supervisor what are fraternization policy actually was? I know this because she is my friend, and I had to tell her the story of my last post. Just as my friend though she won't say anything. Not that there's anything to say yet. Anyways the point is I can't believe he really asked what the policy was. Was he making sure what I told him was true so he could ask me out? Well I'm pretty sure it wasn't so I could go out with the other guy.
You'll be happy to know that I'm not the only one thrown off by this My HR supervisor and good friend we'll call her S didn't figure out how the story was going to end till it ended. Even though I kept saying "wait for it, it gets better" Then she laughed for like five min. Not because its was actually funny just because she didn't see it coming after she knew he asked her about the policy this morning. He is my complete polar opposite that is really what it is. Which makes it interesting. Damn this is so difficult. Oh well I didn't really like my job much anymore anyways right?

Boy Retarded

Ok seriously I sometimes believe there is really no hope for me. I was at work today and this guy will call him K was suppose to leave, and being that I'm the boss I asked K if he's leaving. Some how this turns into a conversation of what I'm doing tonight. I say I'm working and he says well yeah but you have to get off work sometime. This is my first oh shit moment, so smart girl me goes yeah I guess I get off at 8 and whatever I do will probably involve drinking. A Normal person might have pretended she has plans, but not the boy retarded girl. I don't remember exactly what was said at this point but something about his drinking in Andersonville, and me not knowing where that was. Then there was something about me getting his phone number out of his file and calling him. I, because I'm me, just assume that he's joking, so I tell him I jump on a register so he can go home.
He didn't go home though, so 45 min later I said "I thought you were leaving" then we get back to the call me think. So of course he says well are you going to call me? Good lord I think, and not because I wouldn't go out with him because if I didn't work with him I probably would. Though I did kind of think he was gay. Me being the genius that I am say I can't. Hoping this will be the end of the story, but it so clearly was not because then I got the dreaded why not? So I say, and I kid you not, because I don't have your phone number. Yes as soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to scream dude your so retarded, to myself, but I was still ringing up customers, and like I said boy retarded.
So I luckily had a customer ask me a question which caused me to have to walk away from the register which was nice. Even nicer he had left before I got back. Not so nice was his phone number sitting on the register I was using. SHIT SHIT SHIT.
So of course I feel bad because what was a simple, I really can't go out with you because I'm not really allowed to turned into a mess. So I call ok will call him D just for go measure over the walkie and tell him I need to talk to him, but he can laugh so it will be a good time for him. As much as K reports to me in some capacity, I report to D in a similar capacity i.e. not directly but sometimes.
So I fill D in on the story, to which he's like "you really are retarded", and I'm like seriously I know. I don't know whats wrong with me. Though he does say well are you going to go out with him because you know I won't tell. This is not the point for me because I know D won't say anything. The point is no matter how often it happens, it still throws me off when people at work ask me out. I'm still pondering, and so I ask D if I'm rude to not call him. He says know just tell him next time you see him that its against policy blah blah blah. To which I AGAIN STUPIDLY reply well really its not. This doesn't sound like trouble but this is SOO not the end of the story.
D was like what do you mean. So I tell him what the fraternization policy actually says, which is something along the lines of don't do it, but we know we can't stop you, so we don't care as long as it doesn't effect the workplace environment. Now D hasn't worked for the company as long as me. He responds "why does everyone here make such a big deal about it then?" I told him that I don't know. (people do make a big deal about everything in my particular store). This is where it gets good folks. Now D replies "well if I would have known that I would have asked you out a long time ago." AAAAAAHHHHHHH. My only reply was "D that's not helping" To which is chuckled and said "I know, right." Then I had to walk away and pretend that none of this just happened.
The best part I would totally go out with both of them, maybe either of them is a better way to put it. Its just weird because I work with them. I had to tell someone, so I told J a woman who is a bit older who I'm cool with and wouldn't say anything to anyone. She will however make jokes, lots of them. Ending with the Chocolate and Vanilla jokes. And yes J and D are both black, and K is white. Then funniest was the Oreo cookie joke, but I will that that one up to your imaginations, because honestly it was too funny to ruin by repeating poorly.
Well I don't want to go to work tomorrow cause I feel like a huge ass. I love my life.

Who's reading my blog.

Clearly I know most of the people who read my blog, but clearly not everyone. Since no one write comments, I like to check who's reading my blog by different trackers. This is really funny when I look at the search terms that people use, to come up with my blog. Now most of them have something to do with my name which makes lots of sense. Not all of them make sense though.

"feel happy fucking" is the search term that someone used to find my blog earlier this month. Which I find most amusing because I didn't think that most people felt sad when fucking. I really don't understand what one is trying to google with that search term. "Happy fucking New Years" is the post that comes up from my site, but now I'm a little curious as to what else you get if you put in that search term. Lets find out shall we. Well I do show up Number two on the list, that makes me feel special, I still can't figure out what this person was really searching for. All that comes up are more things like happy fucking Christmas etc. Interesting. Lets look at some more
Clearly my blog is more about fucking then I've ever realized because if you type in insect fucking my blog comes up there also. Again I really don't know what is wrong with the person that types in this search word. There is nothing really about insect fucking, mostly about fucking insects. However they must have really been interested because I'm on page ten and I still haven't found my blog yet.
"pants stuck in shoes problem" I think this one is actually the funniest. I'm not sure I even know where to go with that. Because I can't figure out how that would ever become enough of a problem that you would need to google. I want to meet this person because I think they just might be the type of person to make my life seem normal.
Fucking moveings clearly what we learn from this one is Two things: first I use the word fucking a whole lot. Second I'm a really bad speller as moveings is clearly not a word. Though there are only four things that come up when you google fucking moveings mine spelling is not the worst case in the bunch.
I wonder if any of these people actually found what they were looking for? If you are them and still reading my blog please share.

stupid mold.

Why is my grill all moldy. I know I haven't in awhile, but I really don't understand. I've seen lots of grills in my life, but I've never seen a moldy one before. I've seen really dirty ones, though I can't imagine that mine was as dirty as all the rest of them. Not that I cleaned it really well or anything. I've never seen so much mold in my life. Now I have to clean the damn thing which sucks because I don't really have a grill brush or any type of brush that would make the it easy. What sucks most is that I only figured this out last night when I went out side to light the grill to cook the steak that I was making for dinner. UGH I did actually clean it the best I could. Which required removed the shelf and washing it. I was still a little nervous to use it because it was super moldy. I tried to wipe all the mold off everything else, but I don't know how successful I was because it was dark. Then I thought maybe I could burn it off, but it was dark so who knows if that worked either. Well I still cooked the steak and I'm still alive, however I did cook the steak on aluminum foil. Stupid mold.

I can do it.. they can help.

This is what Home depot tells me. And let me tell you I like to think I can do things even if I really can't.
Today I decided to ride my bike to the local home depot. I was going for two things first to get over my fear of bike riding on city streets by riding my bike more than the five blocks to the grocery store (ok I know its really more like three blocks but saying five makes me feel better). Second was to get some stuff to weather proof my windows and doors, so I don't its slightly less cold in my apartment this winter.
Now I probably could have walked to the local ace hardware which is only a few blocks away, but I did that last year, and I bought all the wrong stuff, and I couldn't do it, and they couldn't help. Plus the city hardware stores are SOOOO freaking tiny thats you get all claustrophobic just walking in the front door. Up until last week I didn't even know we had a home depot so close. I know I need to get out a little more.
Managing to make it to home depot without killing myself or others: check. Landing in the mother land of home improvement: check, check. Let me just tell you that I love the depot. And though I rent an apartment which would be pointless to renovate home depot really makes me want to do it anyways. Upon walking in the door I feel like stopping for a moment to go aaaaahhhh.
I did spend quite a bit of time perusing, but I only bought two things that were not related to winter proofing. .97 cent nails, so when I move again I don't have to keep reusing the nails I've been using for the past five years, and I flashlight, which you would know I need if you read about the storm a few months ago.
First I found a book though to tell me what I really needed for winter proofing. See I like that they tell me I can do it, but I'm not big on actually asking for help. Anyways I bought said supplies, but since I'm a little ADD and didn't read the weather proof page all the way through I didn't buy any caulk. After getting home and starting work it turns out that this is the one thing I actually need in the stupid place. So Tuesday I get to go back woohoo I'm kind of excited.
I know what your all thinking. Couldn't you just call and have your landlord take care of all that. And trust me they clearly don't care if my gas/electric bills are nine bajillion dollars. Otherwise the would have put in new windows instead of leaving the 1842 windows that actually have come with some pulley thing, and really don't open, or have real screens. I will let you know how the proofing goes this year.

The Plague

Well its seems as if the plague has finally lifted from most of my body. That is with one tiny exception, and that is that I can not taste anything. Well thats its a bit of an exaggeration, I actually can't taste anything except nastiness. This is actually less of an exaggeration than you might believe possible. But Everything I eat taste horrible. In addition to tasting horrible it stays in my mouth for hours. I know your thinking well just brush your teeth a little more often. I respond by saying if only it was that easy.
Thats the worst part. Brushing doesn't make it any better, mouth wash doesn't make it any better either. I feel like there is a cesspool of grossness. Turns out though, at least from what I can read of thing on the internet, that its the antibiotics that I've been taking that cause this. Now I was on a mission to, for the first time in my life, actually take all the antibiotics given to me. I'm not really sure that I can keep doing that. In fact I'm quite sure that I can not. I know this is going to disappoint my doctors and well my mother, from both of whom I received lovely lectures about the importance of finishing the whole bottle. However at this point either I don't take them and I can eat, or I take them and I don't eat. I think I need to go with eating. I only have like two days left of them anyways, and I figure I probably got more than two days worth of antibiotics when I was in the hospital, so I should be good.
I hate antibiotics. I think they cause more problems sometimes than they solve. I miss food damn it.

Where you don't want to meet people you haven't seen in years.

I mostly done with the hospital story, but a funny thing happened right as I was about to be released. I was laying on the bed dying to go home, and this girl walks by that I used to be friends with in high school. Well maybe more like junior high, but either way its been awhile. I have to think to my self good lord you must be joking. Clearly she was not, as she said my name loudly and cheerfully walking into the room uninvited. I know my mom is reading this thinking you're such a crabby bitch, and well I'm sure thats more than fair in most cases who really wants to meet someone from their past in the hospital? And then on top of it do they need to be cheerful, semi-stay at home moms that I have nothing in common with, who only work because they are bored.
This, this is not something I'm capable of relating too. I don't understand overwhelming cheerfulness to start with. Whether its fake or not is just seems so fake, and creepy. I don't get all excited to see how people are doing in their lives. If that makes me a bad person I really don't care. Then she proceeded to tell me that our high school reunion was actually last weekend. Good to know, apparently we did have one. She apparently did not go but an older friend of mine, who actually used to live next door to me, did so she felt the need to tell me all about it. Or mostly about how there were lots of people who were married and didn't have kids. This actually makes the conversation more awkward since I do not really understand why this is important. Is it some convoluted way to make me "feel good" about not being married and having kids.
Why is not a person's first thought that one could be happy with the way their life is? I know I didn't really have a lot to say, but I was in the hospital, so can one really blame me. That and I do admit to a good deal of thinking, "this really isn't happening to me is it?" Of course it was and it did. It was weird and well just weird. I don't like happy people, this is what this story teaches me. At least not those overwhelmingly happy happy people with children.
The only other two times I've ran into people I went to school with was at the courthouse for the stupid ticket I got last January for my accident, and at like 7am at the starbucks down the street from my apartment in the city. And to think I worried about meeting people in a bar when I'm around my parents house. I just can't wait to meet the next person, so I can revel in whatever uncomfortable position I will find myself in.

Without

I think this must be some sort of new world record. I haven't had anything to drink for six days. No wine, no beer. Actually I haven't even had any coffee since Sunday. This is all very very weird. I almost don't know what to do. Stupid sickness interfering with my alcoholisms.

I look like a heroine addict.

As I said I my ear nose and throat doctor admitted me to the hospital. I'm sure this whole thing would have ended up cheaper if I had just gone to the emergency room in the first place, but alas who thinks a sore throat warrens this kind of behavior. I would like to mention that and the E.N.T doctor did numb my throat and stick a rather large needle in it to drain any puss that might have been back there. It was quite a good time as you might imagine. There were many tears of joy all around. Then I learned that I might have to get my tonsils removed, and was even more happy. I was having a bit of a bad day to say the least, and the worst part was my throat was seriously getting worse by the min. By the time I was checking into my room I couldn't talk at all. Which wouldn't have been so bad, but they sent like a million people from the hospital to talk to me.
First there was the lady would needed to get all my information. This was suppose to be less painful than filling out a million forms unless of course you can't talk. She was interrupted by the patience advocate lady who was kind of annoying because I'd been there all of ten min. And I didn't really know how my stay was going yet.
Once all this wonderfulness was taken care of came needle time. I don't mind the needle unless it involves digging for a vein which of course this did. First the IV the nurse blew the vein in my left wrist couldn't get the one in my left arm, so it had to go in my right arm. Which is lovely because I'm right handed and now I couldn't bend my right arm.
Then there was the blood lady. Who I couldn't talk to at all. She had a nurse that appeared to be practicing on me. Bad timing because clearly my veins were not working with them. So she started digging for the vein in my arm that the IV nurse couldn't get to work. Then it was my fault cause I moved. I was like crying the whole time, frustration running over. I wanted to scream your joking right. Your going to blame it on me when I can't talk.
Then the lovely nurse came with my drug options, Tylenol 3 , regular Tylenol, or Morphine. My aunt was visiting (because of course my grandma was in the same hospital up one floor), and she was like just go for the Morphine. This is what I did, however I was sad when it didn't help even a little bit.
Then it was time for my CAT scan. Which of course was no less than four more people trying to talk to me that I couldn't talk to. The best part was that they had to rip all the tape off my arm because my IV was kinked. Because nothing is normal for me. When I got back to my room they started pumping me full of IV antibiotics and steroids. It was plenty of hours before I could talk even a little, which was wonderful because I had a million visitors. Which was nice, but I couldn't really talk. I couldn't talk well until the next morning.
It was all a really lovely experience. Turns out that I don't, at least for the moment, have to get my tonsils removed. Which is good because apparently its not as easy when your older. Ah but I will tell you if I ever get this tonsillitis again they are going to have to go. Because this shit sucked. And I can't go back to work till Monday, so I'm bored, but too tired to really do anything. Anyways just another few days in the life of me.

Who gets admitted to the hospital with tonsillitis?

OoOoO if you said me you'd be right. Tonsillitis that is correct. As it turns out most adults don't even get tonsillitis anymore. Its mostly a kid thing. I never had it as a kid. Go figure. All I know is I woke up at 1am on Monday morning because my throat hurt so bad I couldn't swallow, and if I did it felt like someone was sticking a knife in my ear. I tried to go back to sleep but was quite unsuccessful. Now I'm not one who is big on the whole doctor thing, which those of you who know me understand all to well. I do however know when something is really not right, and this was really not right. I did call my mom at 6am to confirm that it was not ok, and decided that I would not go to work, but to the doctor instead.
By the time I could try to call the doctors offices in the area, since my doc is the burbs. I couldn't talk very well at this time without a whole lot more pain. I didn't loose my voice it just hurt like hell to talk. Which is awesome. So I called the local hospital place and they said I had to call my insurance company and have them find me a place to go. I was in tears by the end of my conversations, as I kept having to swallow, and was super frustrated. I knew there was no way that I could keep calling places trying to get in. I would have just gone to the ER but I know they charge you more for non-emergency and I didn't really think a sore throat was an emergency.
I did try to call b to see if she was working, but of course she was. So I had to make the call to my parents to have them come pick me up. I hate to do this because its so far, but I couldn't walk all over the city to find a doctor, and it was really getting worse by the min. So of course my dad came and picked me up. My mom took me to my regular doctor, who is pretty much the only doctor I've ever like. And of course after a ten min visit he sent me to the emergency room.
He couldn't get a great look at my throat, and everything was super swollen, he wanted me to see be seen by and ear nose and throat doctor. so they could numb my throat and take a proper look. He thought I might have an abscess and since I've had that before and know what it was i freaked out a little cause its wicked gross. That and there was the pain and frustration thing.
Anyways we went to the hospital, and the ER doc seemed to think my doctor was a little crazy, and just sent me home with a bunch of meds. Horse pills for the girl who can't swallow. Though after calling my doctor he did decided to schedule me a follow up with the E.N.T. the next day.
Needless to say the E.N.T. doctor admitted me to the hospital. Of course theres more but I have plenty of time to tell more of the story since I can't go back to work till monday anyways. So part two to follow.