Boy Retarded

Ok seriously I sometimes believe there is really no hope for me. I was at work today and this guy will call him K was suppose to leave, and being that I'm the boss I asked K if he's leaving. Some how this turns into a conversation of what I'm doing tonight. I say I'm working and he says well yeah but you have to get off work sometime. This is my first oh shit moment, so smart girl me goes yeah I guess I get off at 8 and whatever I do will probably involve drinking. A Normal person might have pretended she has plans, but not the boy retarded girl. I don't remember exactly what was said at this point but something about his drinking in Andersonville, and me not knowing where that was. Then there was something about me getting his phone number out of his file and calling him. I, because I'm me, just assume that he's joking, so I tell him I jump on a register so he can go home.
He didn't go home though, so 45 min later I said "I thought you were leaving" then we get back to the call me think. So of course he says well are you going to call me? Good lord I think, and not because I wouldn't go out with him because if I didn't work with him I probably would. Though I did kind of think he was gay. Me being the genius that I am say I can't. Hoping this will be the end of the story, but it so clearly was not because then I got the dreaded why not? So I say, and I kid you not, because I don't have your phone number. Yes as soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to scream dude your so retarded, to myself, but I was still ringing up customers, and like I said boy retarded.
So I luckily had a customer ask me a question which caused me to have to walk away from the register which was nice. Even nicer he had left before I got back. Not so nice was his phone number sitting on the register I was using. SHIT SHIT SHIT.
So of course I feel bad because what was a simple, I really can't go out with you because I'm not really allowed to turned into a mess. So I call ok will call him D just for go measure over the walkie and tell him I need to talk to him, but he can laugh so it will be a good time for him. As much as K reports to me in some capacity, I report to D in a similar capacity i.e. not directly but sometimes.
So I fill D in on the story, to which he's like "you really are retarded", and I'm like seriously I know. I don't know whats wrong with me. Though he does say well are you going to go out with him because you know I won't tell. This is not the point for me because I know D won't say anything. The point is no matter how often it happens, it still throws me off when people at work ask me out. I'm still pondering, and so I ask D if I'm rude to not call him. He says know just tell him next time you see him that its against policy blah blah blah. To which I AGAIN STUPIDLY reply well really its not. This doesn't sound like trouble but this is SOO not the end of the story.
D was like what do you mean. So I tell him what the fraternization policy actually says, which is something along the lines of don't do it, but we know we can't stop you, so we don't care as long as it doesn't effect the workplace environment. Now D hasn't worked for the company as long as me. He responds "why does everyone here make such a big deal about it then?" I told him that I don't know. (people do make a big deal about everything in my particular store). This is where it gets good folks. Now D replies "well if I would have known that I would have asked you out a long time ago." AAAAAAHHHHHHH. My only reply was "D that's not helping" To which is chuckled and said "I know, right." Then I had to walk away and pretend that none of this just happened.
The best part I would totally go out with both of them, maybe either of them is a better way to put it. Its just weird because I work with them. I had to tell someone, so I told J a woman who is a bit older who I'm cool with and wouldn't say anything to anyone. She will however make jokes, lots of them. Ending with the Chocolate and Vanilla jokes. And yes J and D are both black, and K is white. Then funniest was the Oreo cookie joke, but I will that that one up to your imaginations, because honestly it was too funny to ruin by repeating poorly.
Well I don't want to go to work tomorrow cause I feel like a huge ass. I love my life.