I have glass in my foot.

Here's how it all happened.
I have glass in my foot because I knocked over the wine glass my sister gave me for Christmas with my ass. Funny yes but not the whole story. I have glass in my foot, because I couldn't clean up said glass, because my dust pan is in my car. In my car you ask, yes that is correct.
The dust pan is in the car because it snow 5 inches the other day, and I lost my snow scraper you ask not to worry we will get to that part later on. It is time for a tangent.
Because it was snowing the other day, and I remember I had no snow scraper, and also remembered my boots where in the car, I grabbed the dust pan, and small broom, but forgot my gym shoes. I did bring a pair of gym shoes they just didn't have anything inside them because I took them out and put them in my new gym shoes. So I had to come home so I could get the right shoes. My feet hurt. And on the way back to work my car died, on the side of Ashland. Which won't make sense to most of you. Well that is if there is any of you still reading now.
While I was trying to get my car to start again, and people were honking at me, a nice Hispanic came outside from the store front he was working in and asked if I needed help. Not sure why because he knew even less about cars than me.
He did however offer to have his cousin tow my car somewhere for free, while he was hitting on me, not helping me get my car started. My car finally started after about a half hour, and I drove it to a shop. Where I left it for a day, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with it.
Now I still have glass in my foot, and I'm late for work, maybe my car will start and maybe it won't. But there is always more, so stayed tuned for the continuation of what happens next. Or well previously that caused the glass to jump into my foot.