My friends are morons!!!

Ok I do know that it is highly likely that I don't have any friends after writing that, but seriously it can't go with out saying any longer. Its not that I don't still love them, as they know that I do. Ok so here's the story of said Friday morning/afternoon while I was getting ready for to go to work:

So I get out of bed at a rather late hour of the day. Just wanting a little woo-shaa time to myself before I go to work. So I go into my kitchen to make some tea, and my slippers stick to the damn floor. I mean my big ass frog head slippers are soooooo stuck to the floor that they actually come off my feet. The first thought through my very tired brain is What the fuck. Second thought a very loud one: "I'm going to fucking kill him" Then "who the hell makes this kind of mess and doesn't fucking clean it up." Back story: my friend Hans came over the night before. I thought he was drinking beer mind you, but he must have made himself a Whiskey 7. Though I didn't actually ever see the bottle of 7up, the evidence of its existence was all over my kitchen.
Now if you know anything about me you know A. I'm not a big fan of cleaning, and B. I don't like anyone in my kitchen because I'm anal retentive. So when you make a huge mess in my kitchen and leave it I'm more than a little pissed off. M says H wouldn't have noticed it. To which I respond unless you were blind I don't know how you could have missed it. There is pop all over my floor, all over the sink, the counters, the dishwasher, the cabinets, its even on my hamburg buns and on my damn bananas. I mopped the floor 3 times until I ran out of swifter cleaning stuff. Now I'm going to have to wash it by hand which really irritates me.
mad as not only do i not have any Now the reason H was over in the first place was to bring me my vacuum. Finally, as its been in MN for the past 7 months. I don't know why I thought to do this, but I wanted to check and see if I need vacuum bags or not. So I can vacuum my nasty floor. Well I open the vacuum and this cat hair and shit comes out of it. As there is no bag in it. Ok now I'm just about rageingvacuum bags, but now I have a bigger mess than I started with, and I'm not entirely sure the vacuum will even still work. Still talking to M online line I say "Who the fuck used my damn vacuum" and her ass just starts laughing. Cause apparently the were out of vacuum bags at her house and B decided to use my vacuum instead. Apparently the thought that no one has used the vacuum in months, and the thought that the last time I used it was to clean the apartment didn't cross her mind as she was vacuuming. M was laughing because apparently the vacuum was making crazy amounts of noise while she was using it. Good lord I love you B but seriously how did the thought not cross your mind to check and make sure it had a bag. Actually its not that hard because it has a clear-ish red front and you can tell if there is a bag in there or not. Well at least you could before the inside was all full of shit. Seriously what the fuck. Thats all I can really say.