I know what your all thinking well all four of you that read my blog anyways. Littlebmouse actually learned something. Well not as much as you might think but still little things. For example at work we have a new Ghetto word of the day. Now I am not the one who came up with this term, but it none the less started because this suburban white girl has no idea what the people I work with are talking about all the time. Now since I believe what they say is funny or it would be funny if I knew what they were saying I like to ask what the hell they are talking about. This all started when this girl I worked with said I was all making fun of her "on the low" This apparently means something like on the downlow, or as in I don't appear like I would make fun of people (see what kind of trouble people get in when they think I should act the way I look). The reason however she didn't say on the downlow is because apparently "on the downlow" now means your gay but don't want people to know. These things are good to know on the off chance that I use that saying I don't want to be saying the wrong thing.
Today I heard that I have a short body. I know your thinking well how is that something new being that i'm only five feet tall. But this actually has nothing to do with my height, but has to do with my shape. It all started with a discusion over why we have mens low rise jeans. Most men are afraid of the lowrise. I know this cause I asked how they fit and all the guys were like I don't know about the whole low rise thing. To which I responded wouldn't it be nice if some women felt the same way. To which I was asked if I wore lowrise jean which for those of you who can't figure out I do not as they will not cover what should be coverd. I had to explain this in messurements i.e. that I have a 26 inch waist but 38inch hips. And that if they fit my waist I can not actually get them over my hips to get them on. This is when I learned I had a short body. And no he was not hitting on me or anything for a change. But he could tell I had no idea what he was talking about. But heres what I learned before it got a little uncomfortable. This is the best kind of body to have, and it has something to do with a short body Cadillac and that being like the king of cars. I not being a big fan of the Cady have no idea what a short body Cady is so I will have to find out more from my fellow managers. Who will all laugh at me for not knowing what I'm talking about. Unles one of the four of you reading this knows what the hell they are talking about. I'm sure it has something to do with my ass (sorry Ohn if you are reading this), as everything in that place seems too.
Well I just spilled wine on my couch so I should go clean that up. wow took me a whole month thats pretty impressive..
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
There's a mouse in my shoe
So I wake up and get ready for work. As I'm getting ready for work and staring into my closet of shoes trying to find a pair that I can run around in for 9 hours that won't give me blisters. So I pick a pair of brown flats I was wearing them everyday but I don't think I've worn them for awhile. Anyways I try to put them on but there is something stuck in the toe.
Now here is the point where I have a flash back to the previous morning where while I was getting out of the shower I saw something crawling across the floor. Now this might not seem like much to the average lay person however to me who can not see for shit without her glasses starts freaking out. The reason why is I think it must be REALLY big if I can see it crawling in the hallway without my glasses. Of course me being that I don't get up early enough to do anything besides roll out of bed and take a shower I don't have time for finding something like glasses that I won't need in the shower anyways. So needless to say I have to half rap my towel around me and tip toe to my bedroom quickly as the bug from hell is not just large its damn fast too. Now if you would have seen my reaction to the super huge damn fast bug from hell you would have known that it was comming after me, and really who knows what if might have done once it found me. But in my steathness I managed to find my glasses and return to the scence.
Turns out to be a damn centipide which might actually be the grossest bug in the world. I might actually hate it more than spiders. Now I have to find a shoe but all I can find is a flip flop. The flip flop doesn't work but of course I remember in the nick of time that I have bug spray. I try that and of course as i'm spraying it it runs under the stove. Now normally this would be kind of a problem for me but since they were comming to replace my stove that same day I just decided to let them deal with the bug from hell.
But back to the shoe. So needless to say I'm a little freaked out from the previous morning, but alas I'm late for work so I need to figure out whats in my shoe. So I brave the unknown and stick my hand inside the shoe to pull out what is inside. I am prepared to freak out about whatever is in there so I use the pull fast and drop method. It works well, but as I drop to the floor I gasp. There is a mouse in my shoe. Then I just start laughing. The reason why is, it is not a real mouse but a cat toy from the cats that played so happily under my bed at my previous dwelling. Crisis averted until the following day where I got my pants stuck in the esculator.
Yeah so who seriously who listened to there mom when she was yelling at them to pick up there feet when they get off the esculator because clearly it wasn't me. I really thought who does such a thing happen too. Now I still seriously whats wrong with me, because who the hell gets their pants stuck in an esculator. Clearly ME. No worries though it didn't suck me in or rip my pants. It was all very quick and rather painless. My legs are still all attached. I will walk on into another day to see what horror awaits me.
Now here is the point where I have a flash back to the previous morning where while I was getting out of the shower I saw something crawling across the floor. Now this might not seem like much to the average lay person however to me who can not see for shit without her glasses starts freaking out. The reason why is I think it must be REALLY big if I can see it crawling in the hallway without my glasses. Of course me being that I don't get up early enough to do anything besides roll out of bed and take a shower I don't have time for finding something like glasses that I won't need in the shower anyways. So needless to say I have to half rap my towel around me and tip toe to my bedroom quickly as the bug from hell is not just large its damn fast too. Now if you would have seen my reaction to the super huge damn fast bug from hell you would have known that it was comming after me, and really who knows what if might have done once it found me. But in my steathness I managed to find my glasses and return to the scence.
Turns out to be a damn centipide which might actually be the grossest bug in the world. I might actually hate it more than spiders. Now I have to find a shoe but all I can find is a flip flop. The flip flop doesn't work but of course I remember in the nick of time that I have bug spray. I try that and of course as i'm spraying it it runs under the stove. Now normally this would be kind of a problem for me but since they were comming to replace my stove that same day I just decided to let them deal with the bug from hell.
But back to the shoe. So needless to say I'm a little freaked out from the previous morning, but alas I'm late for work so I need to figure out whats in my shoe. So I brave the unknown and stick my hand inside the shoe to pull out what is inside. I am prepared to freak out about whatever is in there so I use the pull fast and drop method. It works well, but as I drop to the floor I gasp. There is a mouse in my shoe. Then I just start laughing. The reason why is, it is not a real mouse but a cat toy from the cats that played so happily under my bed at my previous dwelling. Crisis averted until the following day where I got my pants stuck in the esculator.
Yeah so who seriously who listened to there mom when she was yelling at them to pick up there feet when they get off the esculator because clearly it wasn't me. I really thought who does such a thing happen too. Now I still seriously whats wrong with me, because who the hell gets their pants stuck in an esculator. Clearly ME. No worries though it didn't suck me in or rip my pants. It was all very quick and rather painless. My legs are still all attached. I will walk on into another day to see what horror awaits me.
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